so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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