I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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