What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
