If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
