the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I lost the right to judge tonight
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
