So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
