ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
