after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
i believe in u and ur pee
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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