cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
