So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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