k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
