fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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