The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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