Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
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