All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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