My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
