Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
