well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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