I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why did my mother make you get naked?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
