How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
