you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
