You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Randomize
