I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't want my vagina anymore.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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