It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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