is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
