Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
