I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
