She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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