Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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