yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
