a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
