I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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