Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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