i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
