We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize