i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
