Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i want to swaddle you in tequila
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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