How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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