I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
smell my finger.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
