this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
