I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
