i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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