I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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