my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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