I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
