I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
