Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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