i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
