we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
