You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
she pinky promised me she was 18
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
