I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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