just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
