8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He kissed a someone with a penis
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
