Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
