How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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